Book of Odds Read online

  The double standard still exists, but with a twist. Only 1 in 50 men will report being comfortable if his partner has had a maximum of 50 sexual partners—but if her number maxes out at 100, a larger group of men (1 in 33.3) reports they are okay with that. 1 in 8.3 men is at ease with a maximum of 20 predecessors; a far larger group feels okay if there were no more than 10 (1 in 2.8). And like women, the largest group of men (1 in 2.5) feels comfortable if she’s had no more than 5.

  But both genders value some experience over none at all. Only 1 in 11.1 women feels most comfortable if her partner has had no sexual partners before her, and for men the odds are even lower—just 1 in 12.5 will feel comfortable if he’s the first.

  SOURCES: AskMen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex,” The Great Female Survey, 2009 Edition, www.askmen.com/specials/yahoo_shine_great_female_survey/part1.html.  AskMen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex,” The Great Male Survey, 2009 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/2009_great_male_survey.

  SOURCE: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf.

  SOURCE: “The American Sex Survey:” A Peek Beneath the Sheets, ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf.

  ODDS COUPLE

  The Age of Love

  1 in 5.9

  The odds a man who has had sex first did so when he was 20 or older are the same odds as an adult 45 or older in a relationship will cheat.

  SOURCES: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf LL Fisher, Sex, Romance, and Relationships, AARP Survey of Midlife and Older Adults, American Association of Retired Persons, April 2010.

  Swearing Off Sex—Before It Happens

  The odds a person has taken a formal pledge to remain a virgin until marriage:

  SOURCE: Estimated by Book of Odds from National Survey of Family Growth 2006–08 Public Use Data Files, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

  The odds a man 25–44 has had no female sexual partners in his lifetime: 1 in 43.5.

  The odds a woman 25–44 has had no male sexual partners in her lifetime: 1 in 62.5

  SOURCE: A Chandra, WD Mosher, C Copen, C Sionean, “Sexual Behavior, Sexual Attraction, and Sexual Identity in the United States: Data from the 2006–2008 National Survey of Family Growth,” National Health Statistics Report 36, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, March 2011.

  The odds a male has lied about not being a virgin.

  SOURCE: S Jayson, “Truth about Sex,” USA Today, January 26, 2010.

  When the Guy Is Older

  Among women 18–24 who first had sex before age 20, 13% whose first sexual experience was with a partner three or more years older say the intercourse was not voluntary.

  This compares to 4% of those who first had sex with a partner their own age or younger.

  SOURCE: JC Abma, GM Martinez, CE Copen, “Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing, National Survey of Family Growth 2006–2008,” Vital and Health Statistics 23(30), June 2010.

  “My parents are going to be out of town all weekend.”

  Most Americans lose their virginity in their high school years:

  The odds a twelfth grade male has had sex are 1 in 1.7.

  The odds a twelfth grade female has had sex are 1 in 1.5.

  SOURCE: DK Eaton, L Kann, S Kinchen, S Shanklin, J Ross, J Hawkins, et al., “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance—United States, 2009,” Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 59(SS-5), June 4, 2010.

  Premarital Sex—Most Everyone Has Done It

  A number of older adults are preaching “Do as I say, not as I did.” According to a report written by Lawrence Finer of the Guttmacher Institute, rates of premarital sex have remained fairly constant since 1960, and about 90% of women born as far back as the 1940s did the dirty before tying the knot (if they’ve tied it at all). What has changed dramatically over the past several decades is the way Americans view premarital sex. A 2004 survey found that only 1 in 3.3 people born before 1940 believe premarital sex is okay. The odds increase dramatically to 1 in 1.7 for those born between 1940 and 1954. And they increase further to 1 in 1.4 for people born between 1975 and 1986.

  SOURCES: L Finer, “Trends in Premarital Sex in the United States, 1954–2003,” Public Health Report, 122(1), Jan–Feb 2007: 73–78. “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf.

  Out of all women 18–24 who shed their virginity before 20, 1 in 2.1 said she had mixed feelings about it at the time, compared to 1 in 3 men.

  SOURCE: JC Abma, GM Martinez, CE Copen, “Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing, National Survey of Family Growth 2006–2008.” Vital and Health Statistics 23 (30), June 2010.

  Number of Sex Partners

  (ages 15–44 years)

  in the Past Year

  The odds a male has had a female sexual partner but not in the past year are 1 in 15.6.

  The odds a female has had a male sexual partner but not in the past year are 1 in 16.4.

  The odds a male has had 1 female sexual partner in the past year are 1 in 1.6.

  The odds a female has had 1 male sexual partner in the past year are 1 in 1.4.

  The odds a male has had 2 female sexual partners in the past year are 1 in 11.6.

  The odds a female has had 2 male sexual partners in the past year are 1 in 13.2.

  The odds a male has had 3 female sexual partners in the past year are 1 in 25.6.

  The odds a female has had 3 male sexual partners in the past year are 1 in 40.

  The odds a male has had 4 or more female sexual partners in the past year are 1 in 16.7.

  The odds a female has had 4 or more male sexual partners in the past year are 1 in 34.5.

  PAST YEAR opposite sex partners

  SOURCE: A Chandra, WD Mosher, C Copen, C Sionean, “Sexual Behavior, Sexual Attraction, and Sexual Identity in the United States: Data from the 2006–2008 National Survey of Family Growth,” National Health Statistics Report 36, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, March 2011.

  GENDER WARS

  Slightly more men than women admit to lying about the number of sex partners they’ve had: 1 in 2.1 vs. 1 in 2.2

  SOURCES: Book of Odds estimate based on data from Askmen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex” The Great Male Survey, 2010 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/2010_great_male_survey/. Book of Odds estimate based on data from Askmen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex,” The Great Female Survey, 2009 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/yahoo_shine_great_female_survey/part1.html

  1 + 2 = Threesomes

  1 in 7.4 adults has had a threesome. An adult is more than twice as likely to have had a threesome than to have four older siblings.

  Threesome odds diverge sharply by gender: While more than 18% (1 in 5.4) of men say they’ve had one, only 1 in 12.9 women, or about 8%, reports having participated in one.

  SOURCES: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004. http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey. Book of Odds estimate based on data from General Social Survey 1972–2008. Cumulative Datafile, NORC, University of Chicago.

  LØVE Hurts

  The odds a man has experienced physical pain during sex for at least a few months in the past year: 1 in 33.3

  The odds for a woman: 1 in 6.9

  SOURCE: EO Laumann, JH Gagnon, RT Michael, S Michaels, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994.

  Number of Sex Partners

  (ages 15–44 years)

  in a Lifetime

 
The odds a male has had 1 female sexual partner are 1 in 6.7.

  The odds a female has had 1 male sexual partner are 1 in 4.5.

  The odds a male has had 2 female sexual partners are 1 in 13.2.

  The odds a female has had 2 male sexual partners are 1 in 9.3.

  The odds a male has had 3–6 female sexual partners are 1 in 3.8.

  The odds a female has had 3–6 male sexual partners are 1 in 3.2.

  The odds a male has had 7–14 female sexual partners are 1 in 5.5.

  The odds a female has had 7–14 male sexual partners are 1 in 6.3.

  The odds a male has had 15 or more female sexual partners are 1 in 4.7.

  The odds a female has had 15 or more male sexual partners are 1 in 12.

  LIFETIME opposite sex partners

  SOURCE: A Chandra, WD Mosher, C Copen, C Sionean, “Sexual Behavior, Sexual Attraction, and Sexual Identity in the United States: Data from the 2006–2008 National Survey of Family Growth,” National Health Statistics Report 36, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, March 2011.

  Sex: THE COMPLICATIONS

  The odds a man does not enjoy sex at all are 1 in 50.

  The odds a woman does not enjoy sex at all are 1 in 14.3.

  The odds a man usually spends 15 minutes or less having sex are 1 in 12.5.

  The odds a woman hardly ever or never orgasms during sex are 1 in 14.3.

  The odds a man 18–59 climaxed too early for at least a few months in the past year are 1 in 3.5.

  The odds a woman 18–59 climaxed too early for at least a few months in the past year are 1 in 9.8.

  The odds a man 18–59 felt anxious about his sexual performance for at least a few months in the past year are 1 in 5.9.

  The odds a woman 18–59 felt anxious about her sexual performance for at least a few months in the past year are 1 in 8.7.

  The odds a man will exaggerate sex stories he tells his friends are 1 in 1.3.

  The odds a woman will exaggerate her sex stories to her friends are 1 in 12.5.

  The odds a woman will gives oral sex but does not like doing it are 1 in 5.3.

  The odds a woman does not like receiving oral sex are 1 in 10.

  The odds a man would change the size of his partner’s breasts if he could are 1 in 2.8.

  The odds a man has suggested his partner get breast enlargements are 1 in 12.7.

  The odds a woman 18–65 will hide her breasts during sex are 1 in 11.1.

  The odds a man 18–65 considers his penis size to be small are 1 in 8.3.

  The odds a woman 18–65 considers her partner’s penis size to be small are 1 in 16.7.

  The odds a man prefers to have sex with the lights on are 1 in 3.5.

  The odds a woman prefers to have sex with the lights on are 1 in 7.1.

  The odds a man prefers to have sex with the lights off are 1 in 3.7.

  The odds a woman prefers to have sex with the lights off are 1 in 2.

  The odds a man has insincerely told a woman he loves her to get sex are 1 in 5.6.

  The odds a woman has withheld sex until a partner said he loves her are 1 in 8.3.

  SOURCES: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf. EO Laumann, JH Gagnon, RT Michael, S Michaels, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994. AskMen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex,” The Great Male Survey, 2009 Edition, www.askmen.com/specials/2009_great_male_survey. “What Are the Rules of Attraction?” Elle/MSNBC.com Sex and Beauty Survey, Elle magazine, 2004. DA Frederick, A Peplau, J Lever, “The Barbie Mystique,” International Journal of Sexual Health 20(3), March 2008: 200–212. J Lever, DA Frederick, A Peplau, “Does Size Matter? Men’s and Women’s Views on Penis Size Across the Lifespan,” Psychology of Men and Masculinity 7(3), March 2006: 129–143.

  None of the Above

  1 in 25.6 men 18–44 and 1 in 26.3 women 18–44 will report being something other than heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

  SOURCE: WD Mosher, A Chandra, J Jones, “Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15–44 Years of Age, United States 2002,” Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics 362, September 15, 2005.

  1 in 43.5 men 18–44 reports being homosexual vs. 1 in 76.9 women, but many more women 18–44 than men report being bisexual: 1 in 35.7 vs. 1 in 55.6.

  SOURCE: WD Mosher, A Chandra, J Jones, “Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15–44 Years of Age, United States 2002,” Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics 362, September 15, 2005.

  The odds a man 18–44 married to a woman is gay.

  SOURCE: WD Mosher, A Chandra, J Jones, “Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15–44 Years of Age, United States 2002,” Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics 362, September 15, 2005.

  The odds a man 18–44 who has ever had same-sex sexual contact will report being heterosexual: 1 in 2

  The odds a woman 18–44 who has ever had same-sex sexual contact will report being heterosexual: 1 in 1.5

  SOURCE: WD Mosher, A Chandra, J Jones, “Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15–44 Years of Age, United States 2002,” Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics 362, September 15, 2005.

  ODDS COUPLE “Somewhat”

  1 in 4: The odds a woman enjoys sex only somewhat.

  1 in 4: The odds an employed adult is somewhat satisfied with his or her boss.

  SOURCES: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/imagesPolitics959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf. Book of Odds estimate based on data from L Saad, “Job Security Slips in the US, Worker Satisfaction Rankings,” Gallup News Service, August 27, 2009. http://www.gallup.com/poll/122531/Job-Security-Slips-Worker-Satisfaction-Rankings.aspx.

  30 Rock with No Commercials

  Most adults usually spend 30 minutes or more having a sexual encounter.

  15 minutes or less 1 in 11.1

  16–30 minutes 1 in 3.3

  31–59 minutes 1 in 9.1

  Between 1 and 2 hours 1 in 3.6

  2 hours or more 1 in 7.1

  SOURCE: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/imagesPolitics959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf.

  GENDER WARS

  The odds a person has had sex on a first date are 1 in 2.4 for a man vs. 1 in 6.1 for a woman.

  SOURCE: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004.” http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf.

  Love Itches

  The odds an adult has had sex outdoors or in a public place: 1 in 1.8

  SOURCE: “The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets,” ABC News Primetime Live Poll, October 21, 2004, http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf.

  WHAT EXACTLY IS SEX?

  In a 2010 issue of Sexual Health, researchers from the Kinsey Institute describe conducting a randomly dialed telephone survey of Indianans, in which nearly 500 people answered questions on what they believe constitutes “sex.” All questions began with the same carefully neutral clause (in italics) followed by one of fourteen variants of four major sexual acts, for example, “Would you say you ‘had sex’ with someone if the most intimate behavior you engaged in was [fill in the blank].” The result: though men and women answer similarly, the team found that “there was no universal agreement as to what behaviors constituted having ‘had sex.’”

  Manual-genital intercourse: Of all the methods of intercourse run by these 486 residents of Indiana—you can almost see them getting up from dinner to answer the phone—manual stimulation ends up being the least likely to be considered sex—but the “direction” matters: when it is received, 1 in 2.1 adults considers man
ual-genital intercourse to be sex, and when it is given, slightly fewer adults, 1 in 2.2, consider it to be sex.

  Oral-genital intercourse: Almost 30% do not consider oral contact with genitals as having sex, either giving or receiving. 1 in 3.5 adults does not consider performing oral intercourse on their partner to be sex, and 1 in 3.7 does not consider receiving it from a partner to be sex—a sort of Clintonesque way of looking at it.

  Penile-anal intercourse: As with the others, this act falls on a semantic divide in American minds. 1 in 5.3 does not consider it to be sex, although there is strong generational variation. Younger men are significantly likelier to consider penile-anal intercourse to be sex than older men: about 77% of 18- to 29-year-old men consider it to be sex, compared to just 50% of those 65 and older.

  Penile-vaginal intercourse: While an expected overwhelming majority considers penile-vaginal intercourse to be sex—1 in 1.1, or 95%—that still leaves 5% who disagree.

  It’s a free country.

  SOURCE: S Sanders, B Hill, W Yarber, C Graham, R Crosby, R Milhausen, “Misclassification Bias: Diversity in Conceptualisations about Having ‘Had Sex,’” Sexual Health 7(1), 2010: 31–34.

  The odds a woman 18–59 has experienced a lack of interest in sex for at least a few months in the past year are 1 in 3.

  SOURCE: EO Lauman, JH Gagnon, RT Michael, S Michaels, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994.